Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
