you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize