I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
