I swear she didn't look like that last week.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
