He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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