Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
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what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.