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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.

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  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home

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