it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
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woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
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I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level