I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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