I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
