I am puke
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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