At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
