ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He has the fingertips of a God
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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