i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
