Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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