Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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