We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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