I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
