spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
