Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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