Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Where is the hickey?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
