Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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