Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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