Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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