in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
