Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
