How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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