apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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