Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
