Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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