So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
