I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
