I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I deserve this hangover.
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