i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
