After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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