YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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