just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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