ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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