its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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