once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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