I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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