My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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