Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
