I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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