Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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