..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
