you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
that may or may not have been my penis.
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