Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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