Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
