ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
