we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
