oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
