I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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