I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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