Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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