Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am available for nakedness
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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