if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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