So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
