Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
