my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
