i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
